


No Way Out

by smokejunkie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Brothers, Gen, I have a thing for crying Kankurou, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sand Siblings-centric, Sunagakure - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-02 23:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5268140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokejunkie/pseuds/smokejunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aftermath of Gaara's abduction (Ep. 32). Kankuro's thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Way Out

**Author's Note:**

> My first (and only) fic, written in 2007. Be gentle. Lyrics by Phil Collins: No way out, from "Brother Bear". Actually is a song-fic, which only shows how good it is that I never wrote anything else.

_I can't look at him anymore. I know he notices._

  
Everywhere I turn, I hurt someone  
But there's nothing I can say  
to change the things I've done  
I'd do anything within my power  
I'd give everything I've got  
But the path I seek is hidden  
from me now.

_  
We've been at home for a week; at the beginning it was easy to avoid him. I'm resting, I'd say. Hiding in my room, feeling like a failure._

The puppet master looks down at his hands, they keep shaking, dead limbs he cannot control anymore. He hasn't been able to touch his puppets, rebuild them. 

_I should have been able to save him, I should have been able to get him back, before… before they did what they do._

He slams his hand against the wall, hard pounds. One, two, three, until his fingers are numb from the pain, his knuckles a mess of purple bruises.

_It doesn't matter that he's ok now. It doesn't. I should have… IshouldhaveIshouldhave..._  
  


Brother, I let you down  
You trusted me, believed in me  
and I let you down  
Of all the things I hid from you  
I cannot hide the shame  
And I pray someone, something will  
come, to take away the pain.

 

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry… Gaara. What if the Uzumaki kid didn't make it? What if… what if?_

He grabs his head with bleeding hands, the same burning feeling that he craves everyday. And then the tears come down, the half done paint blurring in a face distorted by pain.

_Cry baby, cry baby. Temari could have done it. She's so strong. I couldn't… I c-couldn't. God. Stop it. Stop crying. That's all you do, cry. That doesn't solve anything. That didn't save Gaara. Stop. Fuck. You fucking failure._

He smashes his fists against his eyes, rubbing hard, smearing the paint even more.

There's no way out of this dark place  
No hope, no future  
I know I can't be free  
But I can't see another way  
I can't face another day

Harsh sobs wreck his body; this is the only time of the day when he allows them to break free, even if he feels them choking him all the time. Like a blunt stone in his throat. But now, the whole wing of the palace is deserted, everybody working. Then he cannot hold them back. Curled up in a corner of his room, he doesn't notice the soft steps coming up the stairs, stopping at his door. He is blind to the figure sliding into his room. It's only when he opens his eyes that he notices the pair of sandals next to his head. He brings his battered hand to touch it.

_Another vision. Another one… come to mock me? Come to make fun of the stupid clown?_

And then. His hands rest in the sandal, the very solid sandal. And he closes his eyes, face burning. The surprise and the shame pin him to the floor. Not able to look up.

\- "G-Gaara…"


End file.
